Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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