Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
