Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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