this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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