I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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