so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
