yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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