I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
