she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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