i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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