mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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