Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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