Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think i have two assholes
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
