fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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