"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's always time for handjobs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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