You made me cry and you don't even care
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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