i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
