Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
should my penis look like a turkey
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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