Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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