So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
