Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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