Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
