There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
