In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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