we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
