One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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