i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
