Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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