I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
