What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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