she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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