i think my tv is drunk
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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