Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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