I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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