my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
