Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
