Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
