Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
