dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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