I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize