I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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