Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
