I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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