i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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