Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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