Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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