I'm drive I can fine osifer
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
