Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
