No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
