Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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