I cut my penus on the lid.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize