the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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