People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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