So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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