Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
