she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
