come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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