Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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