I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
A bitchslap is in order.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
