I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
