I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
