The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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