dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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