Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
