I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
