I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
