Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
